You Wouldn't Know Me...

Thanksgiving Day is always special at our house.  Family gatherings have always been special times!  But we are careful to remember that Thanksgiving Day is not just one day out of the year... it lasts the whole year 'round, and continues for ever.

It is so hard to remember to be content all the time - at least, for me it is.  Sometimes I feel quite content and thankful for all that the Lord has given me or brought my way.  Yet, other times, I question His bounty or where He has placed me in life.

Why?

Satan desires to attack in the most sly, seductive ways imaginable (and unimaginable).  He loves to see if I will still be thankful to the Lord, or if I will believe what he tells me is certainly not true.

For example, why am I not married yet?

Satan gives me a whole list of things that is 'wrong' with me, or that I should do to 'get noticed.'  (Mind you, some of those things to 'get noticed' are fine, as long as they are appropriate. :-D)

But what does the Lord say to that restless question of mine?  He simply reminds me of His truth.  This morning, I began feeling quite unhappy and was eager to read through my Bible and devotional because I knew God would use them both to reassure and uplift me.  The words of Fenelon for today just happened to say:

"The best place is wherever He puts us, and any other would be undesirable, all the worse because it would please our fancy and be of our own choice.  Do not think about distant events.  This uneasiness about the future is unwholesome for you.  We must leave to God all that depends on Him, and think only of being faithful in all that depends upon ourselves.  When God takes away that which He has given you, He knows well how to replace it, either through other means or by Himself."

Some of you might think, "Well, duh!"  But it does indeed happen to all of us, doesn't it?  I believe that being content and being thankful go hand-in-hand.  1 Timothy 6:6 states,

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 

"Because that, when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."*

I certainly don't want to know God, and yet not glorify Him as He surely deserves.  How can I not be thankful toward Him after all that He did for me those many years ago?  I don't want to become proud in imagining things that are not my lot in life (as of yet, God-willing) and may prove to be just wasting my time.  

I must also be thankful for the bad times, too.  There are numerous references in the Psalms when David was feeling quite low and hard times were upon him.  He questioned the Lord as to why those things were happening to him, but he always said he would rejoice and be grateful to the Lord.  One example of this is found in Psalm 13:

"How long wilt Thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt Thou hide Thy face from me?...But I have trusted in Thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Thy salvation.  I will sing unto the LORD, because He hath dealt bountifully with me."*

There is a poem which the Lord gave me during the time that I was graduating from homeschool, wondering what life held for me next.  It is a wonderful encouragement each time I feel like rolling in self-pity.  I pray that it is a blessing to you, too (it is long, but so worth it!):

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,

and the Master Who gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait?  You say, wait!?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?  Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking!  I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again, "You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine.
He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
you'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there;
you'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
you'd know that I live and I save... (for a start),
but you'd not know the depth of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, Who makes what you have LAST.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
but, oh, the loss! - if I lost what I'm doing in you!
Be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'WAIT.'"*

*Romans 1:21; Psalm 13:1, 5 & 6; by Russell Kelfer, 1933-2000.

Loving Your Fellow Siblings in Christ

The Lord has been teaching me a whole lot lately.  It seems that when I turned 24 He looked at me and said, "Okay, Christy - this year, you're going to learn loads.  Can you handle it?"

I guess I have to say that, yes, I can... with His help.  How else could I handle it?

This one issue keeps coming back to me; making me wonder, making me ask questions, pray hard and determine the precious will of my Lord as best I can.

It is the issue that has been puzzling me for the past three years or so... the issue that some Christians believe needs to be treated as nothing wrong... believing Christians fornicating or committing adultery.

This is something very dear to my heart, as several of my nearest relations are doing these things while attending church and praying.  These are just a few of the things they tell me:

"Don't judge me!"

"Don't 'Bible-bash' me!"

"All sins are equal, so I know I am forgiven."

"Jesus made friends with prostitutes."

"You just hate me."

"What about you?  Don't you sin everyday?"

How is one to answer these things?  Such questions can appear very frightening and certainly make you think hard about what you know and feel to be right.  It is at this moment that I need to call on the Name of the Lord.  If my relation and I share the same God, surely He will work in and through us.  But in the meantime, how are we to treat such brethren?  Do we pretend it doesn't happen?  Do we embrace them as we do non-believers?  Are they really on the same level as those of us who believe in Christ?

St. Paul clearly states what we are to do in such cases.  I found that it is the only passage in the entire Bible where the issue of fornicating brothers and sisters in Him is ever addressed.

"I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat."*

After reading the context of the passage, one can see that Paul is speaking of a man desiring his father's wife.  But later, in verses 9 through 11 we find that he is speaking of fornication in general.  He even explains that we can't possibly separate ourselves from all sinners... just the Christian ones.  Is this really being a kind-hearted Christian?  What happens when we are looked upon as haters, and not the loving, merciful believers everyone thinks we are?

There are, of course, references on how to deal with conflicts between brothers.  One of those is Matthew chapter 18.  Jesus says that if a brother sins against you, you should go to him and tell him his fault (vs 15).  But if he doesn't want to listen, you should bring one or two others with you to confront him again (vs 16).  Then, if he still doesn't heed to the advice given, the whole church is to confront him.  Still, if he refuses to listen even to the church, "let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican" (vs 17).

When Jesus ate with sinners* He did so out of mercy and kindness to those who did not know Him as their God and Savior.  We embrace non-believers in the hope that they will yearn for His truth as much as we know and love It, not because we agree with what they are doing.  Just as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:21, we "cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils."

Which is it to be, then?  Will we heed the Lord's will for our lives and serve only Him?  Or, will we look the other way when someone we love dearly - who is a child of God by the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ - is clearly fornicating, committing adultery, serving idols, wanting something that is wrong, blasphemous, or being greedy of gain?

I believe that the Lord convicts whom He will convict; and He will teach those He will teach.  It is not our business to punish those in the wrong - it is only our business to obey His Word.  That does not mean that if we do not, we won't go to heaven.  But the Lord created a conscience in each of us for a special reason.  

I found a beautiful poem by a young woman named Susan Coolidge, written back in the early 20th century.  It speaks so clearly the words of my heart and how sadly we all feel about our fellow siblings in Christ.  May the Lord alone continue to guide our every action.

"We tell Thee of our care,

Of the sore burden, pressing day by day,

And in the light and pity of Thy face,

The burden melts away.

We breathe our secret wish,

The importunate longing which no man may see;

We ask it humbly, or, more restful still,
We leave it all to Thee."

1 Corinthians 5:9-11; Matthew 9:10

When I Let it GO

 I love this picture because it demonstrates so well the need to just let everything go; just let everything go undone for a small amount of time pampering time alone with God. 

I don't read my Bible every day as I should.  Of course, I can't seem to find the time.  When I get up in the morning I automatically think, "Hurry now; you've got a lot to do today, so you need to hurry up so we won't be late for such-and-such.  And then, if you hurry up and do that, then maybe you can squeeze in some Bible devotions."

But I don't think life is all about hurrying to catch up with the train that's always on schedule.  If it were, I would be one grumpy camper because I hate living day to day on a fast track.  Anyway, how would we enjoy our Lord and His blessings?  It takes time to smell a rose.

When I get so pent up in thinking that I have this to do before that, and that to do before this, I feel the I Can Syndrome coming on.  ICS can definitely be something other than a 'syndrome' but sometimes it is a dangerous syndrome.  I Can do that!  I Can do that!  But deep down, I know I should stop, listen to that still, small Voice, and ask Him to help me do all that I need (and want) to do.  If I don't, I end up crying my heart out in pain.  I feel hurt, dejected and miserable.

Why?  

Because I thought I could handle it all on my own.

I think the Lord takes a special delight in His handmaidens.  He reminds me of a wise, careful father who is gentle and chivalrous yet firm and resolved.  He knows His own mind, and He knows the structure of my brain and how much it can handle. :-)

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."*

Isn't it wonderful to know that He won't make us be tempted more than we can handle?  He'll make a way for us to escape it!  

Years ago when my older brother was seemingly ripped from my life, the Lord gave me a song that has been a true inspiration to me time and time again.  I can still remember the feelings of anger and confusion when Mother brought me into the other room and played it for me.  Suddenly, my heart felt warm and I was assured that someone bigger -- so much bigger -- than I, was ready and willing to take my burdens and carry them for me.  It simply amazed me.

Take a moment to read these words and ponder on what they mean to you. It is a simple prayer, but it holds a wealth of trust in our Savior.  Let's put that trust into action.

This time I've got to trust You; 
I've got to accept Your plan.
I have tried to guide my circumstance, 
but there's just no way I can.

When will I learn this lesson? 
Your ways are not like mine.
Lord, help me to surrender the control 
I try to have on my life.

When I let it go, 
You take my hand and gently lead me;
then You let me know just 
how peaceful my life can be when I let it go.
The never-ending blessings 
like a river start to flow  -- when I let it go.

Too many times I'm searching 
for the things I think I need.
But when I try to look more, 
I always seem to give You less of me.

Lord, help me gain the wisdom; 
my foolish mind still lacks.
Till I find a way to let go 
of the part of me I'm holding back.*

*1 Corinthians 10:13; "When I Let It Go" by Sierra

Reviewing this Past Year...

Some people may think that this is too early for a "Year in Review" post, but I have a good reason: it's my birthday today.

Have I matured in that year?  Have I learned anything?  Was it a successful year?

As this day quickly approached, I began thinking about these questions and the answers to them.

First of all, I learned not to judge other people.  When I say this, I don't mean looking the other way when someone is blatantly sinning.  I used to look at the way others dressed and think, "Okay, they're not like-minded."  But now I know that that is totally wrong.  God doesn't even look at what we look like on the outside!  Some of my dearest friends wear head-coverings, but I don't.  Others wear jeans on occasion, but I don't ever.  Does that make us less in love with Christ?  Certainly not!  Does it hinder us from being friends in Him?  Of course not.  In a sense, we agree to disagree on these controversial subjects.  I know that the Lord has called them a different way in life, and He has called me a different way in life.  If it were not so, I think we would be communistic.

Another great lesson I learned this year, is not to worry so much about what other people think about me.  This was learned in a very hard manner... one in which I would not have hoped for, but one that I am grateful for because it devastated me to the extent that I think I learned this lesson well.  At a time in my life when I was all worried about what I looked like and if what I said was okay or if I stepped on someone's toes by doing that, etc., God used a little girl's drowning to death to shake me and say, "Guess what?  YOU aren't the most important person on earth!"

Then I learned how to keep my mouth shut when things got heated between my sister and I.  No, I'm not perfect, but I have learned through many times of walking hard into a brick wall, that it's just not worth it to say something sarcastic or brash.  Instead, I would be heaping "coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee."*  (And, no, I really don't want to cause any physical harm to anybody, but, in the heat of the moment, I sure would...)

Last, but definitely not least, I learned to get a move on in my unmarried years.  This is something that God has especially made very clear to me through numerous sources, but specifically through Preparing to Be A Help Meet by Debi Pearl.  Sure, I wanted to get out and do something for my Lord, but what?  I couldn't just waltz into some Christian ministry and announce that I was going to start volunteering for them.  I prayed, I cried, and I prayed some more - a lot more.  It was in the heat of the Summer that the Lord put our local pregnancy care center on my heart, as well as my sisters' hearts.  We made a phone call and began volunteering 3-4 hours once a week.  Pretty soon, I heard about their upcoming training session for women who were interested in counseling young girls about their options in a crisis pregnancy situation.  It sounded like a wonderful thing to do, but I just didn't see how I could go through with it.  I was looking at three options: earn money, go to India for long-term, or nursing school.  How in the world would I fit in this counselor training?  And besides that, I did not have the $30 application fee.  Nevertheless, through some friends, the Lord urged me to go along with it.  I had seen Him provide countless times before, maybe He would do so again - if He really wanted me to be a counselor.  As sure as His mercy is endless, just before the first session, the lady conducting the training told me that they had one last scholarship left that could be used for my fee.  Isn't God so faithful?  I think I really know the meaning of that now.

As of now, in between volunteering as a counselor and managing our family band, I will be training to be a Certified Nurse's Aid which will be a source of income and a stretching of my comfort zone.  If the Lord is with me, who can be against me?  I will continue following wherever He leads... it sounds so easy, can I just keep on following Him and forget about what I want?

*Proverbs 25:22