You Wouldn't Know Me...

Thanksgiving Day is always special at our house.  Family gatherings have always been special times!  But we are careful to remember that Thanksgiving Day is not just one day out of the year... it lasts the whole year 'round, and continues for ever.

It is so hard to remember to be content all the time - at least, for me it is.  Sometimes I feel quite content and thankful for all that the Lord has given me or brought my way.  Yet, other times, I question His bounty or where He has placed me in life.

Why?

Satan desires to attack in the most sly, seductive ways imaginable (and unimaginable).  He loves to see if I will still be thankful to the Lord, or if I will believe what he tells me is certainly not true.

For example, why am I not married yet?

Satan gives me a whole list of things that is 'wrong' with me, or that I should do to 'get noticed.'  (Mind you, some of those things to 'get noticed' are fine, as long as they are appropriate. :-D)

But what does the Lord say to that restless question of mine?  He simply reminds me of His truth.  This morning, I began feeling quite unhappy and was eager to read through my Bible and devotional because I knew God would use them both to reassure and uplift me.  The words of Fenelon for today just happened to say:

"The best place is wherever He puts us, and any other would be undesirable, all the worse because it would please our fancy and be of our own choice.  Do not think about distant events.  This uneasiness about the future is unwholesome for you.  We must leave to God all that depends on Him, and think only of being faithful in all that depends upon ourselves.  When God takes away that which He has given you, He knows well how to replace it, either through other means or by Himself."

Some of you might think, "Well, duh!"  But it does indeed happen to all of us, doesn't it?  I believe that being content and being thankful go hand-in-hand.  1 Timothy 6:6 states,

"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 

"Because that, when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."*

I certainly don't want to know God, and yet not glorify Him as He surely deserves.  How can I not be thankful toward Him after all that He did for me those many years ago?  I don't want to become proud in imagining things that are not my lot in life (as of yet, God-willing) and may prove to be just wasting my time.  

I must also be thankful for the bad times, too.  There are numerous references in the Psalms when David was feeling quite low and hard times were upon him.  He questioned the Lord as to why those things were happening to him, but he always said he would rejoice and be grateful to the Lord.  One example of this is found in Psalm 13:

"How long wilt Thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt Thou hide Thy face from me?...But I have trusted in Thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Thy salvation.  I will sing unto the LORD, because He hath dealt bountifully with me."*

There is a poem which the Lord gave me during the time that I was graduating from homeschool, wondering what life held for me next.  It is a wonderful encouragement each time I feel like rolling in self-pity.  I pray that it is a blessing to you, too (it is long, but so worth it!):

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate,

and the Master Who gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait?  You say, wait!?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is Your hand shortened?  Or have You not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking!  I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again, "You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine.
He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause the mountains to run.
All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
you'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there;
you'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
you'd know that I live and I save... (for a start),
but you'd not know the depth of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that beyond getting just what you asked
of an infinite God, Who makes what you have LAST.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
but, oh, the loss! - if I lost what I'm doing in you!
Be silent, My child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'WAIT.'"*

*Romans 1:21; Psalm 13:1, 5 & 6; by Russell Kelfer, 1933-2000.